![]() ![]() The next morning, I woke up with his call. However my guards were up and other than sharing numbers, we both remained just “friendly”. As the night unraveled I felt a fire igniting between us. Initially it was friendly, we were with our respective groups of friends. While being apart, I attended a party with no interest to meet a man since I was in a relationship. A little older, i got in a relationship with a school friend and I’m in love for the first time, hysterical. But this boy stayed in my mind for a while.ģ years later. I liked him, was I was young and scared, and didn’t respond when he tired pursuing me. I wasn’t your average pretty girl, round in shape and short haired, I wasn’t the desirable girl that boys crushed on, and I had severe body dysmorphia. Our eyes met and we kissed, it happened in a split second, as if we already knew eachother. We’ didn’t have a skinny love moment to say-you see someone and you give the green light. When I was 16, I kissed a boy for the first time in the middle of a teen party. Nothing came out of it, I was too shy to pursue it anu further, but this boy has stayed in my mind. When I was 16, I kissed a boy in the middle of the dance floor and it was explosive. ![]() If I can be precise, I’m not a pretty blonde, I’m heavier and rounder than your average girl and have been told to be “hard to get”, which I find quite funny when thinking of my chain of lovers. I despised the idea of love during my teenage years, I had severe body dysmorphia and terrible childhood trauma. ![]() Something has lead me to this page and I don’t think I have ever read such beautiful articulation of thoughts. he’ll probably think i’m weird but i don’t know what else to do. i know he won’t accept but at least he’ll acknowledge me. leave a statement that i still thought about him after all these years. i know he has his own life and people he’s interested in. i don’t want to develop anything with him as i know that’s impossible. ![]() time flies and people change so damn fast. i just don’t know why i feel so strongly about him. it ruins my whole day and mood and week and month and i can’t move on like this. i avoid him in my thoughts and then i end up dreaming about him. it’s been two years and i still feel sick to my stomach. i have to do things a certain way so i can live or else i can’t live. I don’t know why i have the need to let the people that have lived in my heart know that they once had or still have a place there. ![]()
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